Society struggles 1: dating

Since  I am not that busy in Barcelona with studying and work as I usually am, I got some time to think. Sometimes I get really annoyed with our society and especially two things: our obsession with appearance and modern day dating.  My generation tries so hard to be special different with the trips we make, interesting internships abroad and places we hang out. We have quite a big ego but we are afraid to express our feelings or take a guess and tell someone we like him or her. Why are we so afraid to be vulnerable?

The question if you are together with someone is a tough one. Lots of calculations and complicated analyses of Whatsapp messages are involved. What to answer when people ask you if are you together? ‘No’, you say. ‘We are just dating’. But what is that supposed to mean? The word dating might be even too strong, I think the right word is ‘just hanging out’.  I am not that much a believer of traditional relationships but I have to say this is confusing for both parties. In the end, it seems like we are always waiting for someone better/nicer/prettier to come along. So if this person doesn’t come along we just stick with the one we are  ‘just hanging out’ with? I wonder what we are afraid of. To make a choice? Why not respect the person and actually focussing on what you have instead of looking around for better.

Another example is that you don’t even have to break up with someone or tell the person you are not interested. No, you simply stop replying on any of your online devices. Why bother being honest or vulnerable when there is an easy option? Thing is you only leave the other person wondering why. Don’t get me wrong, I have done this many times till it happened to me and I actually started to wonder why this person stopped talking to me. I got annoyed with the other person but also with myself because I did it to other people as well. Why don’t we respect each other? The least we can do is give each other an explanation.

Let’s not even mention the rules. The rules, which are unwritten but crucial in our modern dating life. The first struggle is interpreting a text correctly. Is the person happy with you or angry, because there is no smiley or no ‘xx’. You don’t call someone to ask him or her out. No, you send an unclear text stating ‘We should hang out someday’, well when, where? Does the person genuinely want to hang out or is it just to say something polite? You can’t reply too fast because then you are too eager. You can’t reply late because then you are rude.

I think in the end I can conclude that nowadays we are afraid to be vulnerable. You can’t show you like someone. You just don’t. We are always waiting for a better person and people don’t let us know if they like us. I mean, we would only open up to become vulnerable and then get let down, because we were only hanging out, right? We might miss out on an amazing person. We travel the entire world alone, we are tough, we are cool but we are also afraid. What if you get rejected? This won’t hurt your perfectly created online image, but would actually hurt your feelings that are somewhere behind this image and ego.

 

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First 2 months in BCN

Time flies! I was very busy before coming to Barcelona rounding off everything at uni in the Netherlands including my practise as kitchen manager. I even slept for a few days on a matrass in an empty room because I already had to move out, so I was happy to move finally!

I arrived on Sunday evening where I met the landlord from my house. I was too late because my suitcase was late and I couldn’t find the entrance but in the end I managed and already met some of my flatmates who are all really nice.

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View from uni

Monday I had to go to uni straight away to register and arrange classes. That was the plan but first I got stuck in the metro because I bought the wrong ticket.. All part of the process! On the picture you can see the view from the university. The UAB is located outside Barcelona in a very beautiful and green area. I take the train for about 30 minutes and I go through a beautiful scenery with mountains and forests.

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Obviously we went to some parties – Best way to get to know people and culture. People (especially girls) dress up properly including dresses, heels and a lot of make-up. The parties are fun and people love to dance, especially reggeaton.

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My trying to understand my prescription

In the second week I had an eye infection and I had to see a docter. I really did not want to go because it is always a project in Spain. I am sure I looked very weird when I arrived because I was soaking wet from the rain (probably the only day I have seen rain here) and obviously my eyes were swolen and red. As expected no one spoke any English so I was fortunate to be able to explain everything in Spanish but it is challenging because a doctor’s visit requires different vocab. In the end I ended up with a medicine prescription in Catalan. As you can see the instructions part is completely empty.. I went to the farmacy to pick up the medicine and they didn’t want to explain me anything!

I arranged my classes in a way I have 3 really full days of classes and Thursay and Friday off, what a life! Some of the classes are in Spanish which is tough as it is on topics such as political territories and geography but it is a good opportunity to learn. The first weeks I did a lot of cultural stuff such as la Padrera (Gaudi), Parc Guell  and just going around the city. I rent a bike and it was amazing!! I felt very Dutch but it is so easy by bike!

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I also joined the Spanish gym which is quite interesting to be as a blonde in tight sport clothing between all these macho guys in the lifting area 😉 But it is also fun and enough help is offered.

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During my time here I had the next round for my internship in New York and I got hired! Unfortunately I will be leaving BCN a bit sooner and need to arrange my visa from here but I assume it will be worth it!

There are many nice people to meet and I am enjoying myself! I went to Morocco last week (I will write about it – so amazing!) and I am planning some other smaller trips in Spain because the country is so beautiful, not to mention the food 🙂